Monday, September 26, 2016

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

How to write a best-selling book

Well, if I knew that, I wouldn't be sitting here, all poor and obscure, would I? In my 20-odd years of freelance writing (and most of them have been very odd, indeed), I've penned hundreds of thousands of words. Some of them have even taken the shape of books, but only theoretically and/or germinally--that is, they still languish in Word files, and have not been bound and printed for sale. (One or two are even fiction, but something tells me I'm never going to give J.K.Rowling a run for her money.)

Monday, September 19, 2016

Every time I think I've seen it all

Something comes along to befuddle me. Such as a grownup colouring book that features, not something lovely and relaxing (the whole purpose of adult colouring books)...

Available at Amazon. As if.
...but ugly, hideous, stressful, depressing clutter. It boggles the mind. Those of us who suffer from hoarder-like tendencies, and poor housekeeping skills (--oh Freudian slip! I almost typed poor housekeeping kills) don't want to be reminded of our weaknesses when we're trying to relax and de-stress.

Why don't they just make a colouring book of a bedbug infestation, or the Black Hole of Calcutta? Ye gods.

If you must colour a house, then why not one of these?

And if you must colour clutter, then let it be neatly organized and terribly cute.

I want this, Mrs Beazly!

Saturday, September 17, 2016

So about that saddle...

I forgot to mention it wasn't actually on a horse, metaphorically or otherwise. It was more like this:

When I go back and read the previous post, I have to laugh at the part about writing "every day." Good heavens, life has been so crazy that it took me two weeks to get back here and check for comments (and Yessssss! There was a comment!).

Actually, I have been writing every day, but emails, texts, journal/diary entries, and correcting your children's grammar and spelling don't really count. Since I've been on hiatus from most of my professional writing jobs for a good two years, it's incredible --and rather depressing-- how difficult it has been to get back in the habit. Why are bad habits (like overeating or watching too much HGTV) always easier to form than good habits?

Let us ponder this is future posts. Let us hope that there will be future posts.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Back in the Saddle

Miss P #7 horseback riding in Cypress Hills Park, SK

Where did the summer go? I ask that every year, and the answer is always the same: I don't know. My summer was full. So full that it may take years to write about it. But here it is, September 1. Back to School season (though as a homeschooler, I get to choose the day, and it's not today. I never start school before the Labour Day weekend).

But I am resuming blogging, if for no other purpose than to practice some personal discipline, and to get back in the habit of writing every day. The word of the month is discipline, and I'm going to need it, in order to survive September. School and harvest don't always mix.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Well, Daughters, that ol' birthday will be rolling around again soon...

And this way, I can get at least seven hits on this post. So here's a partial list. I'm not greedy, I just like to give you lots of variety to choose from.

The exquisite Nordic Ware "Heritage" Bundt pan. Available here

Le Cuistot Vieille 8L Oval Dutch Oven (Red).
Available AND ON SALE RIGHT NOW! (no pressure) here. 

Cuisinart 3 Qt Dutch Oven (blue)
Available here. 

Cool plant stand from IKEA. Available…where else?

The Moody Blues' best album.
 Amazon (or elsewhere if you can find it cheaper. Or at all.)

Yeah, that's really what it costs.
(But hey, it's come down. It was $47 when I put it on my Wish List.)

Available pretty much everywhere.
(Should I publicly admit that I haven't read this book yet? )


All my life I've longed for one of these…
Amazon again.  (Some cheese knives would be nice too.)

And so would some cheese! You know that I like everything, especially Brie.

Wine and chocolate are also perfectly acceptable birthday gifts.


And then there's... 
Because my capacity for self-delusion KNOWS NO BOUNDS
(If I'd lost a pound for every dollar I've spent on fitness clothing, equipment, and DVDs… )

Friday, May 13, 2016

Yep, the weather knows it's Friday the 13th.

I woke up to a yard covered in frost. And yesterday it was snowing. Which wouldn't be quite so surreal if it hadn't been +30 C (86 F) a week ago. Last week, I mowed the lawn; now I have to wait for it to thaw out. Climate change indeed. 

 My hot pink Geranium is pushing out more blooms. 
I'll have to take solace in that until things start blooming outside. 

Clever marketing or FALSE ADVERTISING?

I say the latter. It's moderately disappointing to grab the jar from the fridge thinking you're going to get real mayo on your sandwich, only to find that you accidentally bought knock-off Miracle Whip. And LIGHT on top of it all (which means it's half water)! 

I say it's devious labelling. My daughters say, "Mom, when you're shopping for groceries, WEAR YOUR READING GLASSES."

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Did the floral dictionary have an entry for Black Calla Lily?

If so, its meaning was probably on the morbid side. "Armed with floral dictionaries" LOL. Those Victorians… you gotta love em. (It really doesn't take a genius PhD in Gender Studies to see that 'repressed sexuality' and floral dictionaries were far more romantic [and sexy] than Miley Cyrus swinging naked on a wrecking ball… but I digress. We need a lot more repression these days, that's all I know.) 

As for the flowers, they are sublime. Received them from my daughters for Mother's Day. Thanks, girls. They are exquisite. The camera-phone cannot do them justice. I hope I don't kill them. I also received a gift certificate from the Paderno store. I killed that quickly enough. Details to follow. 

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Let me fix that subtext for you...

So now Walmart is charging for bags. Because you know, it's not enough that they have TAKEN OVER THE EARTH (at least, all the parts where commerce and trade happen); now they want to save it too! Rah, rah, sis boom bah. 

Fixed: "Together we can reduce continue to use plastic bags waste to keep but YOU'LL have to pay for them; we really couldn't care less about our planet healthier!"